apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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