Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
