just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
