Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
