I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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