I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
