I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm getting married
To pizza
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
