Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
