The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
