Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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