Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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