NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
