I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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