I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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