good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
