My room smells like vodka and shame
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
