"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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