i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
