oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
