Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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