Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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