Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
