so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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