I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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