I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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