apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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