No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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