Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
