guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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