Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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