It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Where did you get a picture of my penis
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
