u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize