They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
