So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i out mim tonsoeep
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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