But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
