Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
