If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need to sanitize my soul.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
