the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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