If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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