I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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