no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
