is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
