hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
