Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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