So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
