i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
