my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
