I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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