I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
