brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
