idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
