Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
