what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
