I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I made him laugh his dick is mine
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
