There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
