I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
