its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize