so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
