He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
