Where is the hickey?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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