Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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