we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
