There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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