i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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