I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
