Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
