a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Mom said you looked used
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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